3 minutes
Feedback is a gift
feedback is a gift. people criticize because they want things to be better. criticism != being a hater.
— shelby reliability engineer (@shelbyspees) September 19, 2020
that does not mean that the critic isn't responsible for how they deliver the feedback. don't be a jerk.
the goal should be getting everyone on the same page, in agreement.
this is not a novel idea and navigating it requires nuance. and as always, impact > intent
— shelby reliability engineer (@shelbyspees) September 19, 2020
I have rejection-sensitive dysphoria (not as bad as some people in my life, but it's definitely there oof).
— shelby reliability engineer (@shelbyspees) September 19, 2020
if I'm poked in the vulnerabilities it'll take me out for hours. I cry, it's a physiological response. I'm not as embarrassed about it as I used to be, but it still sucks.
I'm also nitpicky as fuck. I've gone overboard critiquing and revising other people's work, beyond what's reasonable. I've pissed people off before, or otherwise negatively impacted them.
— shelby reliability engineer (@shelbyspees) September 19, 2020
You think I'd be more sensitive to people's feelings, considering how sensitive I am.
I think I naively assumed that "successful" people wouldn't be affected by criticism the way I am. I'm a wimpy loser so of course they should cushion things, but they're experienced professionals, they're leaders. it won't even faze them.
— shelby reliability engineer (@shelbyspees) September 19, 2020
I think it was when I was talking to @QuinnyPig yesterday and I said something about how I'm objectively successful according to my goals from ~5 years ago.
— shelby reliability engineer (@shelbyspees) September 19, 2020
and I realized like damn, you can reach success and still feel like a loser all the time? literally nobody* has ever discussed such a thing before.
— shelby reliability engineer (@shelbyspees) September 19, 2020
* I'm kidding
so anyway my brain is going off on a million threads on the topic of criticism, but I think I'm having a realization about the relative power I hold now, and the responsibility it comes with.
— shelby reliability engineer (@shelbyspees) September 19, 2020
by most standards I'm still a nobody, but in the places I'm not, I need to be mindful.
and more importantly: I need to start acting like my words and actions carry more weight than I think they do.
— shelby reliability engineer (@shelbyspees) September 19, 2020
leadership has a way of sneaking up on people, I think. (those who aren't sociopaths obviously, I can't speak to that experience.)
— shelby reliability engineer (@shelbyspees) September 19, 2020
432 Words
2020-09-19 19:18 (Last updated: 2020-09-20 08:36)
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2020-09-20